What is coaching?

My experience has been that most people do not grasp what coaching is. 

I’ve been a life coach. I’ve been a business coach. I’ve been an executive coach. And yet, I get similar responses.

"It's like therapy, right?"

"I would take advice from you."

“Honestly, I don’t know what you do.”

And then there was this one, when I asked for a referral:

"I would never have the audacity to presume that someone would need a coach."

Yikes. 

These comments have not only been prevalent, but insightful into understanding what people think coaching is. Today, I want to share some big truths about coaching.

#1: Coaching is not therapy.

Let’s clear something up: Coaching isn’t therapy—and that’s a good thing.

I’ve been in therapy for years (and I often encourage my clients to do both!), but coaching serves a very different purpose—especially for business owners who are ready to grow.

Therapy helps you unpack the past, process patterns, and heal.

Coaching helps you move forward, make decisions, and take powerful action. How? 

We look at problems for what they are: opportunities. Opportunities to make a new choice, choose a new conviction, or convict an old pattern. We thrive on them. I get visibly giddy when a client offers me a problem!! Eeeeeee! Gimme!!! That’s because business owners don’t have time to wallow—they need tools, clarity, and a plan. And that’s what coaching delivers.

A few other ways to understand the contrast:

Therapy is the process of moving from dysfunctional to functional. 

Coaching is the process of moving from functional to optimal. 

Therapy finds success through healing. 

Coaching finds success through action. 

Therapy looks at the why. 

Coaching looks at the how. 

Make sense?

Because coaching is solution-oriented, we're looking at how to get where you need to go instead of discovering why it is the way it is. In a coaching mindset, the past is what it is. If the hang up is too much of a barrier, then coaches may decide in that moment to refer to a therapist.

#2: Coaching is not consulting.

The second most common misconception is that coaches are the same as consultants. The idea here is that we hold all of the answers to your life and business and we are going to tell you, step-by-step,  how to live your life.

I often hear my friends joke with me that they need a coach. Their basis is that I would dictate to them how to live and, therefore, they would live a better life. Now, for most of my friends, that's probably true. I probably should be telling them how to live because they're a bunch of dumpster fires. (KIDDING! Mostly!!) And hey, that's what friends are for. But in the coaching relationship, I wouldn't serve a client in that way.

Whereas the consultant has the answers, opinions, and perspectives from which they believe are the best, the coach holds the stance that you, the client, are the one that has the answers. We follow the goals, ideals, and dreams of the client.

A few other ways to understand the contrast:

A consultant is an expert at what they do. 

A coach is an expert at the coaching process. 

With a consultant, if there is disagreement between the client and the consultant, the consultant may press harder to get their expertise through. 

With a coach, if there is a disagreement between the client and the coach, the coach must take ownership that they are not on the right page and realign with their client. 

With a consultant, the consultant holds the power. 

With a coach, the client holds the power.

The beauty of coaching is allowing the client to direct the conversation, to explore the options possibilities, and to move forward knowing that this is the best answer they have. All of this comes from within the client.

Now, there are going to be plenty of times when the coach will offer advice or guidance, but it is all in place to serve the client, and only if the client feels it aligns with their big picture goals and desires. The coach never assumes they know better. 

For example, I offer a business workbook that takes my small business owners step-by-step through best practices for business. These are best practices through my lens and perspective. If these best practices are not right for them, that’s the right answer for them, and I respect that. (See how I’m not pushing my way onto them?)

#3: Only damaged people need coaches.

Another misconception I often hear is that people that have coaches are broken. 

...well, you're right. 😁

The hard truth is, we are all broken. 🥺 We are all raised by damaged parents who did their best to raise us and, yet, we were still damaged in various ways. Our job is to recognize that damage, learn from it, and move on with our lives.

And guess what? Your work self is also broken. Every executive I’ve ever worked with is broken (sometimes the most broken). Clearly, it’s not at achieving work goals or they wouldn’t have gotten that far, but there sometimes is a mismatch of their own personal values to their lived experience at their job.

As a way of better frame coaching, understand that today’s coaching bore out of a bygone era of strictly executive coaching. I'm talking CEOs, board directors, presidents of multimillion-dollar corporations, and the like. These people were at the top of their work game. They weren’t getting coaching because they were so broken that they couldn’t function; these people were getting coaching because they were working to unlock the abilities and excellence deep within them. Truly that's what coaching does--it unlocks your Inner Genius.

#4: I must have a specific problem or goal to hire a coach.

If you wait to hire a coach until you actually have a problem, you’ve already waited too long.  Problems don't arise out of nowhere. They fester until they're too big not to address. And if they're left unaddressed too long, the damage becomes so deep that a therapist or consultant may need to also get involved. The thing with inner turmoil is that it unconsciously works on you until you take the time to consciously work on it. 

I see a distinct and repetitive pattern with my clients, where we often start to triage the work issues, but it’s often quickly followed by triaging the human aspect that has been left unaddressed their entire lives. Only until these two elements are resolved can we get into the deep and powerful work of setting up the business for predictable success.

Even when things are going well, there is a great need for coaching. Coaching allows you to push on the accelerator, gently or assertively, so that you can have a more fulfilled and balanced life and career consciously, and sooner than you ever expected to.

I don't want you to wait until there is a problem to rectify it. It’s already there. The problem is mortality. ☠️ Life is too short to wait for you to focus on you.

And know this, I never, and I mean never, lack for a topic of discussion. I’m infinitely curious and have a deep well of questions and ideas for you. I have a couple million questions I can ask you to help understand and further your growth.

Let me just ask one of those questions here:

What is your life purpose?

….uh oh.

Can you answer that question right here, right now? After a lot of work and insight and reflection, I’m happy to report that I can answer it for myself. It’s very freeing to have this kind of compass. When you get me on the phone, feel free to ask me. I'm happy to share. 

#5: I cannot afford coaching.

I hear it all the time, and I get it. Running a business, paying your team, covering your life…it all adds up.

But here’s the truth no one tells you:

It’s not just about the money. It’s about what you value enough to invest in.

I work with brilliant, bold, driven founders, many of whom waited far too long to invest in support. Not because they didn’t want to grow, but because they weren’t used to prioritizing themselves.

Coaching felt like a luxury. They didn’t feel “ready.”

But staying stuck was costing them more, in time, energy, confidence, and cash, than coaching ever could.

And if money is the main thing holding you back?

Then let’s make more money the first thing we tackle.

Together, we’ll elevate your systems, pricing, leadership, and clarity, so your business starts supporting you, not the other way around.

Here’s the deal:

People who hire a coach aren’t just buying sessions.

They’re declaring:

“I believe in my vision enough to invest in it.”

That’s what makes coaching powerful.

It’s not just about business strategy (though you’ll get plenty of that).

It’s about becoming the kind of leader who backs themselves, loudly, proudly, and with a plan.

Are you ready to embark on your journey? If so, reach out to me! You can also book me through GORT here.